Quotes by Will Rogers

Category	Quote	E-Mail this quote
Advice	Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
Americans	We don't know what we want, but we are ready be bite somebody to get it.
Bad Habits	See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
Congress	This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer
Congress	Every time they make a joke, it's a law, and every time they make a law, it's a joke. - (about congress)
Democracy	On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
Diplomacy	Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Government	There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Heroes	We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
History	My forefathers didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat. - (part Cherokee)
Hollywood	I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Humor	I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Humor	Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
Ignorance	Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Influence	If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Ingnorance	An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
Judgment	Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Learning	There are three kinds of men: the one that learns by reading, the few that learn by observation, and the rest of 'em that have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Liberty	Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
Life	Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
Men vs. women	There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.
Misc.	Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Movies	The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
Pain	Don't squat with your spurs on.
Politics	Politics is applesauce.
Politics	The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
Politics	Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
Rules	Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
Spelling	Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
Taxs	The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
War	You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
War, Civilization	You can't say civilization don't advance. For every war, they kill you a new way.
Wisdom	Always drink upstream from the herd.
Wisdom	Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

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